


You Light Up My Life

by danceswithgary



Category: Smallville
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-25
Updated: 2008-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-03 23:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark's developed a newish sort of power...um, a feature...no, a problem. It's a little inconvenient.<br/>Best Overall Super Short 2009 Smallville FanFiction Awards</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Light Up My Life

"So, they sent me the director's cut and we.... Damn, the light must have blown. Wait there, I'll just...Clark?"

"Lex?"

"You're...glowing."

"Oh, that. Ummm...yeah."

"That's new."

"Sort of, but not really. It's just...."

"Can you control it? Is your skin hot or is it a cool...."

"Lex, slow down. God, you are such a total geek."

"Well, you never told me about this one. You said no more secrets, Clark."

"It's not a secret! Look, can we go where there's some light? I hate looking like I should be stuck to the ceiling in a kid's room."

"Sure, come on. There. Better? I guess this is why you haven't been out much at night lately."

"Yeah, the whole glow-in-the-dark thing is a little...embarrassing."

"Why? It's not as if the world doesn't already know Superman's an alien."

"Clark Kent, on the other hand, doesn't want to explain why he never needs a flashlight."

"I can see where that could be a problem. What changed? Anything I can do to help?"

"It's the suit."

"The colors are bright enough, Clark. Glowing is a little much, don't you think?"

"No, I mean that the suit is causing it. Sort of. It's been kind of building up."

"What's been...building up? You're not making a lot of sense."

"The suit holds a certain _energy_ in. I've been wearing it a lot more lately under my clothes. The _energy_ isn't dissipating fast enough when I'm not wearing it, and the buildup causes...well, _glowiness_. I used to go out above the atmosphere and vent it, but that's stopped working and...."

"Exactly what kind of energy are you talking about, Clark?"

"I don't sweat."

"Clark."

"I mean, dogs don't sweat, either, so they pant when they get hot, but panting doesn't work for me and...."

"Clark."

"Sorry. Let me put it this way. You know how I told you the whole heat-vision thing started?"

"Health class, call of the wild, my fiancee."

"Yeah, so I learned to control that, and I was managing things okay...and then the suit. I mean, it's supposed to be able to resist heat so that I don't end up flying around naked every time I go into a burning building and, well, that kind of works both ways. I guess I never realized how much heat I released through my skin."

"You always have run a little hot. You're telling me that using your heat vision isn't enough to take care of it?"

"Not any more. The AI said it has something to do with bio-feedback and intensity of...um...well...."

"Did you try jerking off?"

"Lex!"

"Clark, I'm trying to help here."

"It...it doesn't take care of all of the excess. That bio-feedback thing is sort of a...mating...."

"You're telling me you need to get laid? So what's the big deal? Lois has been after Superman...."

"No way! Leaving aside the fact that I'm gay...."

"Clark. Remember that 'no secrets' thing we were talking about? I've only seen you go out with women."

"Lex, c'mon. I don't ask _you_ about your sex life. Most people consider that TMI...well, except for Lois. I swear she's never even heard of the concept. Anyway, it would be a little _inconvenient_ having Lois figure out that Superman lights up like a lightning bug when...he's horny. The thought of that particular headline makes me want to find a very deep cave and hang out with the rest of Nature's answer to the Coleman lantern and glow sticks."

"Clark, you're not a lightning bug. Their _asses_ glow."

"I'm wearing the suit right now, Lex. Take my word for it. My ass gets pretty damn bright."

"What if I don't want to take your word for it?"

"Lex? Are you serious? I thought you were straight."

"No, the gossip columnists have it right. I'm bi. I have to be honest, Clark. My usual fantasies about you have run along the lines of black leather and handcuffs, but bioluminescence.... Wow. Just wow."

"You...geek. _My_ geek."

"There is one more thing I've fantasized about. Got any tentacles?"

**Author's Note:**

> kyanoswolf said: I can understand Superman's "X-ray" vision as being the ability to sense light waves and radiation that isn't visible to the human eye, which makes sense from the point of view that Kryptonians developed under a different sun and needed to see different wavelengths.
> 
> Think of earth species that develop in the depths of the ocean or in caves without normal sight or have the ability to create their own light.
> 
> The heat vision thing implies that the Kryptonian eye can emit energy as well as receive it. An analogue to bioluminescence?
> 
> We definitely need the results of that alien autopsy.


End file.
